Musings of MelissaBrooke

Cubicles are not so confidential

mp1213 — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:45:07 +0000

I was introduced to cubicle-world a few summers ago during my first internship. I picked up on the main rule pretty quickly - remember that even though you can’t see them, there are people sitting a few feet away from you. This includes chewing quietly, using a headset instead of speakerphone, not blasting music, staying away from overly pungent smelling foods, and - what I find to be most important - limiting your personal phone calls. In my relatively short work experience thus far, I have heard my share of personal information from my cubicle neighbors. I could tell you all about the lakehouse of the man I sat near at my first internship, and every annoying and cute story about the children of the woman I sat near last summer.
But this neighbor takes the cake. Currently I am listening to a her have a serious discussion with her father about how she doesn’t like the way he treats her daughter different than her sons, and that it will scar her for life. In the five months we’ve worked next to each other, I’ve also heard about her entire family ancestry, each of her pregnancies, every detail about her son’s football games, and fights with her children over homework - all without one direct conversation between the two of us.

This has probably become my biggest office pet peeve. I’d be happy to have a conversation with you and learn about your life, but I’d rather not feel like I’m forced to eavesdrop on every detail when I’m trying to get work done!
So all of this to say - here’s some advice for current students: respect the cubicle environment. A quick call here and there is fine and expected. But if you have to have a lengthy or personal conversation, take it from your car.

And if you find yourself next to a chatty neighbor - take notes. Their drama could make up the plot to a potentially interesting story

College graduate, meet the corporate world.

mp1213 — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 21:07:44 +0000

Really, it is a completely different world. Over the past few months I’ve traded my jeans and flip flops in for Banana Republic dresses and heels, attempting to adjust to a whole new set of rules, lingo, and even social guidelines.

Above my post-it note-covered desk are pictures of my friends and I - walking down Broad Street, sitting outside the Union, teaching children in Ghana, and smiling in our caps and gowns by the breeches. Though my duties as a marketing coordinator may be in the front of my mind, memories of Messiah live on in my heart.

I’m not sure exactly when I became an “adult,” but it seemed to happen very suddenly. Since graduation I was offered a full-time position, bought a car, and got engaged; I am now planning a wedding, going on business trips, and make all sorts of important grown-up decisions. Exciting things - but boy, how I miss my campus apartment, watching wedding shows with my roommates, dinner dates at the union, and walks by the breeches.

All of this to say, current (and future) students - enjoy every minute! Take advantage of each sunset over cemetary hill, each walk by the breeches, and each night spent in with friends. But at the same time, know that the real world isn’t such a bad trade-off when it’s time for you to leave. I’ll try to keep writing updates on my post-Messiah journey, just so you know that although it will be different, there is indeed life after college.

I’ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places..

mp1213 — Wed, 13 May 2009 20:02:48 +0000

I’ve been sitting here for awhile trying to rack my brain for what to say in my pre-graduation post. Although I would love to leave you with beautiful imagery to serve as closure for the most significant era of my life, I can’t quite come up with words that do these past four years justice. Also, the flood of tears that could potentially come from stirring up the multitude of feelings in my heart may damage the keyboard in front of me, so I’ll try to keep my emotions in check.

Rather than cry over the past, I will instead look forward. In June I will be returning to Time Warner Cable in Virginia to work in their corporate marketing department as an intern on the wireless team with potential to become a full-time employee in the fall. Because the job is located close to home, I will be moving back in with my parents to save money (and because they have just been so lonely these past four years without me!). Along with working 40+ hours a week, my summer plans include a family vacation to Tampa, attending weddings, catching up on reading, and enjoying the sweet Virginia sun.

I’ll close with a poem I found in the college history book that was read at a dedication service for Messiah in 1912:

“As time rolls on, some future day,

good people will relate

of Grantham’s school, and then they’ll say -

there we did graduate

sweet memories.”

-J.R. Zook

Advice to future Falcons

mp1213 — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:08:12 +0000

It’s hard to believe that four years ago I was a senior in high school getting ready to begin my journey at Messiah. Although I was happy to be attending the college of my choosing, the fear of the unknown loomed in front of me like a dark tunnel. Looking back, it would have been helpful to hear from the perspective of an older and wiser college senior as I prepared to transition from my comfortable high school and home community to a college environment and all that comes with it.

So, my dear readers, I have compiled a list of ways to get the most out of your four years at Messiah. All of these things are as a result of experience - either things that I did well or in hindsight realized I should have done.

During your first semester at Messiah, DO NOT go home every weekend. Or every other weekend. In fact, try to make it to fall break without taking a trip home. I know living in dorms is weird at first and that you will probably miss your bed, dog, and mom’s cooking, but trust me on this one. The only way to build relationships with the people around you is if you are physically present!
I realize that Grantham is not the most exciting location, especially if you grew up in a city area. But give it a chance - don’t write off Grantham immediately like I did just because it does not have a Cheesecake Factory a Banana Republic in its immediate vicinity. There are so many things to do in the area if you do a little research! My roommate Mallory always comes up with a fun new activity to do, such as taking a day trip to the Lake Tobias Animal Safari Park. If trying new restaurants are more your idea of an exotic adventure, try Pakha’s Thai House in Dillsburg; or for a more upscale dining experience, grab a date or a group of friends for a evening at Cafe Fresco in Harrisburg.
So even though I am converted into a believer that quality life does exist in Grantham, I also stand firm in the thought that you should not spend all four years here at this campus. I knew coming into college that I would like to spend some of my time in another location, but was uneasy about thought of being across the ocean for an entire semester. The Philadelphia campus let me experience day-to-day life in an urban environment as well as the feeling of being a student at a large public university, all the while living in a socially and spiritually supportive community with other Messiah students. Plus, I was only a train ride away from my family and was able to make several visits back to the main campus during the semester. Another great option I found are the j-term cross cultural trips. As I have written both in this blog and on The Bridge Online, traveling to Ghana this past January impacted my life in immeasurable ways. I know that my great experience was not just unique to me and my trip, but that many others have had equally as life-changing journeys to places such as Zambia, The French West Indies, and New Zealand.
Love every moment - you will be amazed by how fast your four years fly by. Being a Messiah student is an incredible gift. I know it doesn’t always feel like that in the midst of papers, exams, and presentations, but I guarantee that when you are sitting where I am looking back at your nearly half a decade-long adventure, your heart will be filled with as much thankfulness for every fond memory as mine is right now. I get teary-eyed almost every time I think about walking across the stage to accept my diploma, because I know that for it I am trading the unpredictable, sometimes crazy, yet in the end wonderful life of a Messiah College student.

You still amaze me.

mp1213 — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:28:20 +0000

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting here typing up a blog entry about not knowing what to do with my life, feeling frustrated and uncertain about my future. I was in the process of applying for a job here at Messiah that would involve representing the school to the southern states, which in theory sounded great. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that although traveling around would be fun at first, I would grow tired of living out of a suitcase after a few weeks. What I thought was a perfect opportunity and the end of my searching started to sound not quite right.

So while I was attempting to write my blog post, all kinds of doubts began to creep into my mind. I had my fingers on the keyboard, ready to type out whatever coherent thought came to mind, staring at the file cabinet above me covered with magnetic words, and in my heart I began to lift my concerns to God. “Lord, I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m graduating in two months and feel that I have absolutely no direction. What do you want for me? What am I supposed to be doing in this world? Please, I just need some sort of push in the right direction - a sign, anything!”

It was about at that point that I realized it was time to leave for the day, and I walked home feeling confused, but a little voice in my heart urged me to be patient and wait. I thought about the Bible verse that I had taught the preschool class I volunteer in at church this past Sunday - “He cares for you.” (the full verse is, “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you,” 1 Peter 5:7) God had provided so many opportunities for me in the past, so who was I to doubt him this time?

I got back to my apartment and not even 15 minutes later, I got a phone call from the internship coordinator of the company where I interned last summer. It turns out that the department I worked in was requesting me to return to work on what sounds like a really exciting marketing research project, with the potential to turn into a full-time position. As I hung up the phone, it was as if God was there with me saying “I am listening. My timing is perfect. Trust me.”

Now all of this is not to say that I will definitely be accepting the position. I still need to make a few pro and con lists, as well as figure out some logistics with the company before I commit. But I wanted to share this story because it is yet another example of God’s faithfulness and presence even in my most impatient moments. This morning in elective chapels, Brian Smith preached on Ecclesiastes 3 (the “there is a time for everything” chapter). I sat there in awe of God’s perfect timing and the way he knows my heart and my struggles so completely. The service closed with the singing of the classic Byrds song Turn, Turn, Turn, which could not be more adequately describe my feelings today:

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

there us a reason (turn, turn, turn)

and a time for every purpose, under heaven.

Embracing the “I” in me

mp1213 — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 21:35:15 +0000

Today I got to thinking about my “I” and my “me.” “I” wanted to sing out loud as I made my way across campus to Old Main, but my “me” stepped in and let me know people would think I was a crazy person if that happened. So in the end, my “me” won, and I walked silently. Let me backtrack a little. In my communication theory class we have been talking about symbolic interactionism, which explores how our identity is created through our communication with others. In this theory, one’s “self” is part of an ongoing process of combining the “I” and the “me.”

The “I” is the creative, spontaneous, and impulsive self. My “I” is the person I am down to my very core – the person that abandons all sense of the world and dances freely around my apartment when no one else is there. Whereas the “me” refers to the action of guarding, evaluating, and modifying what I do based on how society perceives me (or how I think I am perceived). This is the person that stops the moment I hear my roommates come in, not wanting them to think I am weird.

Learning about these battling selves is both exposing and freeing. And after thinking about who my “I” is and who my “me” is, I find that I like “I” a whole lot better. I am beginning to see why I am so shy in public – I let my “me” take over. I like the person I am when no one else is around, or when in the company of close friends or family – my “I” is real, alive, and beautiful. But the moment I step into a crowded room or walk down the street, my “me” guard goes up and stifles any “I” thoughts that may come into my mind. Out of fear, my “me” modifies my actions in a way that overwhelms the warm and friendly nature of my “I.”

Now that I am aware of these two selves I did not know existed, I want to be aware of moments where my “me” kicks in. I love my “I,” and think the world might too if I give it a chance to.

The dust gets in your blood

mp1213 — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:58:02 +0000

Hello, dear friends! I apologize for my nearly two month absence. I could blame it on the little internet connection I had in Ghana or the craziness of the beginning of the semester, but in all honesty I just have not had the energy to write. But thinking back over everything that happened during the past two months, I feel the need for a major updating session. So let’s begin.

Christmas break was full of much needed rest, delicious food, and catching up with family and friends. I also began volunteering at a local food bank and thrift store. My parents, sister, and I spent a few days in Ithaca, New York, visiting our extended family. And since Paul conveniently lives not too far away in Rochester, I got to spend a day with him as well. After Christmas I drove to Maryland to visit my best friend and former roommate Amanda, and joined her large family for a fun and festive New Year’s Eve.

On January 8 I flew to Africa. This has been the part I have been avoiding writing about the most. I just don’t know how to process the most challenging and enriching experience in my life into words on my blog page. But I will say this: a big piece of my heart is still in Ghana. When I was there my roommate Abby, who traveled to Namibia a few years ago, emailed me saying, “the dust gets in your blood, and you take Africa home with you.” I couldn’t agree more with that statement. Although at times all I wanted to do was go home to warm showers and Hershey’s chocolate bars, I experienced an unbelievable sense of peace during my three weeks there. I wrote to my parents in an email, “Ghana is quickly stealing my heart - the sunsets are incredible, the children are beautiful, and God feel so very close in this country.”

So even though I’m loving the ability to brush my teeth under running water, part of me is longing to be sitting on our steps at Ho Farms, watching the sun turn the sky a rosy shade as it slips through the trees, and relaxing with a peaceful, patient heart as I just let myself be. No deadlines, no appointments, no rushing from here to there as I normally do. Just enjoying life, soaking in every moment, and falling more and more in love with my Creator.

p.s. If you are interested in reading more about my adventures in Africa, a reflection piece and photo gallery will be featured in The Bridge Online starting March 3.

For the future of the world…

mp1213 — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:13:07 +0000

Could I have been any more of a Debbie Downer in my last post? I was tempted to delete it, but a discussion of blogging ethics in my senior seminar class a few weeks ago persuades me to do otherwise. So to maintain the credibility and transparency I desire as a writer, I will leave my grumbling post for all to judge and will attempt to make up for my lack of positive thinking.

And what better way to begin thinking positively than with the anticipation of Christmas. Typically my Christmas preparations consist primarily of making sure I have the perfect gift for each dear person in my life. This year I am looking at Christmas a little differently.

2008 brought about a series of changes in my life, one after another. The most important of these is what I can only describe as a spiritual transformation I had while performing in Godspell in February. That story could be an entire blog post in itself, but the highlight is this – I truly believe God placed me in the position of sharing my faith onstage to make me question the foundation of it and to realize how far away from Him I was at that point in my life. That idea didn’t fully settle in for me until the communion scene of the final performance, when real tears streamed down my face and a fully repentant heart came forward, crying desperately for the redemption only Jesus could bring. In that scene it wasn’t the character of the prideful teacher finding her faith in God as she sang, “oh, dear Lord, three things I pray..,” it was me. The words “prepare ye the way of the Lord,” sung at the end of the show, were never so sweet for me. I worshiped God with a pure and holy heart that performance, and my life has not been the same since.

As Christmas grows closer, I have been particularly drawn to the story of Mary this year. I guess it started with a song that I performed at my voice recital last week, called Christmas Lullaby from the musical Songs for a New World by Jason Robert Brown. I’ve always thought the song was beautiful, but never really understood its meaning until now.

I’ll never have the power to control the land
Or conquer half the world, or claim the sun
I’ll never be the one who simply waves her hand
And has a million people do the things I wish I’d done
But in the eyes of heaven, my place is assured
I carry with me heaven’s grand design
“Gloria, Gloria!” I will sing the name of the Lord,
And He will make me shine.
And I will be like Mother Mary, with a blessing in my soul
And I will give the world my eyes, so they can see
And I will be like Mother Mary, with a blessing in my soul
And the future of the world inside of me.

Mary was not a powerful figure in her society. As a poor woman, she did not have many options available to her. Yet her obedient and loving heart pleased the God who created the universe enough to give her one of the highest callings this world has known. The story is truly amazing. God could have chosen a multitude of majestic ways for His own son to enter the world, and He chose the heart of a young woman who trusted Him enough to risk her marriage and place in society to follow Him.

Mary is not only an example of obedience, but of immense courage. I think a danger of our society is that the concept of trusting and waiting on the Lord can come across as passive. I see Mary’s place in this situation as anything but weak. It took a beautiful, feminine strength to listen to God and to trust Him against even the laws of nature.

I desire to trust God with that much fierce devotion. I want Him to see my heart as faithful and obedient. I want to hold unswervingly to the promise that He can and will produce His mighty works in my life.

So this Christmas, I am looking into the heart of Mary. I am seeing the story through her eyes, as a young woman watching for the Lord and waiting for the fulfillment of His promise.

And I will be like Mother Mary, with the power in my veins
To believe in all the things I’ve yet to be
And I will be like Mother Mary, and I’ll suffer any pain
For the future of the world..

For the future of the world, inside of me

The doubts of December

mp1213 — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:58:11 +0000

I find it had to believe that one month from today I will experience my second day immersed in the culture of Ghana. Today I bundled up in my long brown coat, argyle scarf, and boots to brave the vicious winter winds of central Pennsylvania. Next month, I’ll be slathering my skin with sunscreen and drinking plenty of bottled water to avoid sunburn and dehydration. Today my schedule was pretty routine – homework, lunch, class, work, dinner, etc. Next month, I’ll have to say goodbye to my meticulous planning and embrace a lifestyle not so heavily dependent on my daytimer.

Prior to this week my thoughts and feelings regarding my upcoming trip were full of excitement and delight. But in the past few days that anticipation has turned to anxiety; that joy to fear. What if I don’t like it there? What if I can’t seem to bond with the other students on the trip? What if I get malaria or bit by an animal or mugged? (I’m hoping my mom isn’t reading this particular entry)

And in typical Melissa-fashion, as if those concerns aren’t enough to keep me up at night or distract me from my work, the longer I lie in bed or sit at my desk in Old Main, broader fears and concerns creep into my mind. I begin worrying about the reality of graduating, finding a job, being far away from my friends post-graduation and having to make new ones, the overall direction of my life, etc. You know – real uplifting topics.

This all seems hypocritical coming from the girl who just a few weeks ago wrote about letting “May take care of itself” and “just focusing on November.” As December flies by, I’m having a hard time keeping that positive attitude. Even though I have dreamed of going to Africa since I was eight years old, I’m suddenly terrified by the thought that I will actually be there in a month. And although I have been told I should have no problem finding a job, I question my own abilities to do so.

So even though in November the future didn’t seem so intimidating, I hadn’t yet experienced the doubts of December or the journeys of January.

I do believe in (magic cooking) fairies!

mp1213 — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:32:20 +0000

Why is it that my most brilliant blog ideas come to me when I am nowhere near my computer? I swear, the minute I step away from my desk, the creative juices start flowing and I get completely into “blog mode.” Interesting stories, quotes, or life revelations from the week begin to take shape in my mind and I start thinking like a true blogger – with witty comments, thoughtful messages, and interesting side notes. However, when I am sitting here in the publications work study office in Old Main, I stare at my blank screen, wishing inspiration would jump into my mind, flow through my fingers, and magically appear on the page. Kind of like the magic cooking fairies in my apartment.
Okay, so before I appear completely insane, they’re not actually magic. Or fairies. Or even real. But they make their happy little home among the pots, pans, and tea kettles of D204. The discovery of the cooking fairies came about one day when Mallory made the general inquiry to the room, “how do I make the magic of tea happen?” Mal, though lovely in every way and more than proficient in many things, is probably the least at home in the kitchen out of the five of us. (Side note: this inquiry happened at the very beginning of the semester. She has since then proudly cooked several meals all by herself.) Anna, who spent a semester in England and is therefore the resident authority on preparing a proper cup of tea, gave Mal a tutorial in the logistics of tea making. Mal and Amy, both in awe of the simplicity of the production behind such a fabulous beverage, declared that there must be “magic fairies” at work in our kitchen, who dance around in the teapot to create delicious results.
We’ve seen these fairies at work on several occasions. Abby, the busy music major who rarely gets a moment to relax, will whip together a gourmet meal in the 15 minutes she has between meetings and rehearsals. “She was obviously assisted by the cooking fairies,” say the rest of us as we look on in wonder. Our magic cooking fairies can be a bit temperamental at times. Some days I will wash a whole sink of dishes, only to turn around a few hours later and see the counter cluttered with plates and cups again. “How could five girls have used so many dishes in such a short amount of time?” I often wonder aloud, to be replied with “the fairies must be mad at us.”
Perhaps the cooking fairies in our kitchen have some friends hidden somewhere in Old Main who would like to magically assist me with my writing.