Musings of MelissaBrooke

You still amaze me.

• Posted by mp1213 on March 5th, 2009 filed in decisions, Trusting God, graduation, timing

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting here typing up a blog entry about not knowing what to do with my life, feeling frustrated and uncertain about my future. I was in the process of applying for a job here at Messiah that would involve representing the school to the southern states, which in theory sounded great. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that although traveling around would be fun at first, I would grow tired of living out of a suitcase after a few weeks. What I thought was a perfect opportunity and the end of my searching started to sound not quite right.

So while I was attempting to write my blog post, all kinds of doubts began to creep into my mind. I had my fingers on the keyboard, ready to type out whatever coherent thought came to mind, staring at the file cabinet above me covered with magnetic words, and in my heart I began to lift my concerns to God. “Lord, I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m graduating in two months and feel that I have absolutely no direction. What do you want for me? What am I supposed to be doing in this world? Please, I just need some sort of push in the right direction - a sign, anything!”

It was about at that point that I realized it was time to leave for the day, and I walked home feeling confused, but a little voice in my heart urged me to be patient and wait. I thought about the Bible verse that I had taught the preschool class I volunteer in at church this past Sunday - “He cares for you.” (the full verse is, “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you,” 1 Peter 5:7) God had provided so many opportunities for me in the past, so who was I to doubt him this time?

I got back to my apartment and not even 15 minutes later, I got a phone call from the internship coordinator of the company where I interned last summer. It turns out that the department I worked in was requesting me to return to work on what sounds like a really exciting marketing research project, with the potential to turn into a full-time position. As I hung up the phone, it was as if God was there with me saying “I am listening. My timing is perfect. Trust me.”

Now all of this is not to say that I will definitely be accepting the position. I still need to make a few pro and con lists, as well as figure out some logistics with the company before I commit. But I wanted to share this story because it is yet another example of God’s faithfulness and presence even in my most impatient moments. This morning in elective chapels, Brian Smith preached on Ecclesiastes 3 (the “there is a time for everything” chapter). I sat there in awe of God’s perfect timing and the way he knows my heart and my struggles so completely. The service closed with the singing of the classic Byrds song Turn, Turn, Turn, which could not be more adequately describe my feelings today:

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

there us a reason (turn, turn, turn)

and a time for every purpose, under heaven.