look in your heart and you’ll find

Fall break is over and now the entire campus is back to work. As I said in my last post I spent my Fall break on a service trip at Youth Development Inc., a youth camp and retreat center, in Headwaters, Virginia. My experiences there were some of the best experiences I had ever had. The trip was absolutely amazing! I went with five other Messiah students on this trip. Before leaving none of us knew each other, but by the end of the trip it was as if we had known each other forever. The group of us also immediately became close to the YDI staff as well.

After leaving Messiah around 12:45 on Thursday, we arrived at YDI around 5:00. The trip there was about 4 hours consisting of I-81 and then winding mountainous back roads until we arrived at Cow Pasture Road and the Headwaters Lodge. That night they allowed time for us to just explore the lodge and relax before being put to work. The group of us then went for a hike and then on a 4-wheel drive excursion to the top of a mountain that overlooked the Alleghenies. The view from the top of the mountain was astounding. It was amazing to look out over the tree covered hills colored with fall and realize how great our God is and how amazing his creation truly is. Then we traveled back down to the lodge for dinner, ping pong, and Apples to Apples.

Friday, we woke up had breakfast a time of devotionals and went to work. Our group was split up with the YDI staff and went outside to either stain two bunk houses or clear brush. I went up with two YDI staff members and three others from our Messiah group to stain the bunk houses. After a few set backs with the stain, we were able to completely stain both houses before lunch. Once lunch was cleaned up and all of the kitchen work was done, we went back outside to finish clearing up the brush. Despite the threat of rain, we were also able to finish with the brush before getting rained on; however, we then decided to go play volleyball in the field where it immediately started raining and then pouring. We were able to get a good game played in the pouring rain.

That night a youth group came for their fall retreat. The rest of the weekend was dedicated to helping with their retreat. We went to devotionals every morning and evening. We played games with them. We served them their meals and helped in the kitchen and dishroom. During the day on Saturday, we also we able to participate in many of the activities with them including a rock wall, the high ropes course and zip line, building a house out of index cards, and a whipped cream drop.

On  Sunday we had to leave and come back to school.  We didn’t leave before going to church with a large group of the YDI staff though. After church, we continued our way through four states back to Messiah. It was so hard to come back. After a weekend of no cell service, laptops, etc. etc., I was really reluctant to come back to the real world. It was surprisingly refreshing to escape the pressures of the world and run into the woods. It was also especially hard to walk away from the five amazing people that I had become so close to. Spending four straight days with them it was hard to realize that I wasn’t likely to see them everyday from now on. I know that we will remain friends and get together every once in a while, but its just not the same as the close knit family we had become over our time at YDI. Now that I am back at Messiah and have a couple of days back over with, I am almost reaquainted to the world I left behind last week. I will never forget my weekend though and will probably always have a small part of me that wants to go back to last weekend and escape back into Virginia and the woods.

In strict contrast to my last post, it is a beautiful fall day at Messiah today. After having a very rainy and cold homecoming weekend, the past few days have been sunny and warm. It is nice to have one last little bit of warmth before the cold of winter (no matter how much I LOVE winter). The whole atmosphere is just sunny and cheerful today, and I’m sure that it has everything to do with the fact that today is the last day of classes before fall break. Once classes are over today students will all be leaving campus to go home or visit friends. After almost two months of classes, everyone is ready for a break including the professors.

This year I have decided to go on a service trip over my break. Tomorrow around noon, I will be leaving campus with five other students and heading down to Headwaters, Virginia to a youth camp. Even though we do not know exactly what we will be doing there, the thought is that we will be helping with a lot of the overall camp maintance and joining campers in activities over their weekend retreat. Last night, our group had a small get together in order to get comfortable with each other before traveling four hours in a van together and then spending four straight days together. Even in the small amount of time that we spent together, it looked like it is a great group and that we are going to have a great trip. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for our trip. I will am sure I will have a lot to blog about it when I get back to Messiah.

This semester I am taking my Bible gen ed class. Considering this is a class most Messiah students take as a freshman, I was pleasantly surprised to walk into class on the first day and see a number of upperclassmen including two girls from my FYS. After being in the class for four weeks, our first test is on next Tuesday. Having your first test or paper in any class is always hard. You never really know what to expect. How harshly is the teacher going to grade it, what does he/she see as most important in assessment, what type of questions are they going to ask and in what amount of detail etc. etc.

This class especially has been an interesting one. As many classes at Messiah do, this class has caused me to think mch more criticallyabout what I believe than before. I have felt the same way in CCC, theology, philosophy, etc. etc. It is interesting that even though Messiah is a Christian college and most everyone has the same fundamental beliefs in God, the more discussion that goes on in and out of class, the more you realize how many different beliefs there are. Throughout this first unit of Bible, we have gone in depth talking about the creation of the Bible: how it was written, God’s part in its origin, how we view the Bible, etc. etc. Through all of our discussions and listening to all different points of view it has really gotten me to think about what I truly believe about the Bible. Many of the things I would have thought to be my belief, I have realized didn’t make as much sense to me or didn’t encompass my full set of beliefs as well as another belief might. Now that I am more aware of my own beliefs as well as those of others, I can now take what I know and more completely try to form my own ideas. Hopefully studying for my upcoming test and writing my reflection paper on the unit this weekend will help me to do just that.

It is finally Friday. The complete motivation for getting self out of bed this morning was the thought that, “Tomorrow I can sleep in.” It seems to be as if this week has lasted forever. With the work load of classes picking up and the dreary weather we have had the past couple days, exhaustion has seemed to be the major theme across campus. While talking to people in all of my classes, I continuously received the answer, “Good, but tired,” to my question of “How are you?”

No matter where we are, what we are doing, or how busy we seem to be with work, it becomes extremely important to take the time to relax, even if just for a minute. Take a moment to recollect your thoughts and then start again. It was especially refreshing to be able to have Powerhouse last night and take that time to recollect myself. Whoever first planned Powerhouse to be Thursday had a great idea. At that point in the week everyone is just waiting for Friday to come. During Powerhouse though, I tend to forget what else is going on im my life and could care less what day it is or how much longer until the week is over. This was especially true last night when I focused on having my thoughts rooted entirely in God and not about the world around me. I can contribute this all to my friend, Adam, and his newest blog entry (http://acousticworship.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-is-at-stake.html) that I just happened to read last night before leaving my dorm to go to Powerhouse. Taking his words to heart, I made my whole focus be about creating a solid foundation in my faith before actually stepping into Powerhouse and worshipping. Throughout the hour of worship, I continued focusing solely on God and there was a huge difference in my overall Powerhouse experience last night. So despite the weary/drearyness of campus today, I have been refreshed enough to make it through today…and tomorrow I will be able to sleep in!

Monday was our first gospel choir rehearsal. Over the summer and into the beginning of the school year I have had some worries about United Voices of Praise (UVP). Our choir is currently going through a period of transition: our director, Dr. Thomas, is on sabbatical this year…our performance coordinator, Eunice Hager, no longer holds that position and they have yet to find someone to take over those responsibilities…our student director from last year, Margaret McKay, graduated…our piano players are no longer at Messiah…etc. etc. Needless to say I have had some fears about gospel choir this year. Despite these worries about the year, I believe it is going to be a great one and we will truly be blessed this year.

This Monday’s rehearsal was definitely a huge blessing in itself. Not only did we have a large number of returning members, but a bunch of new members showed up to audition as well. Even though we only sang a few songs together, but I could feel God’s presence with us and felt as if this rehearsal was only the beginning of great things to come. Back in my home church’s youth choir, Voices of Grace, we had a little saying, “It will all work out on Sunday.” This provided all of us with a bit of encouragement even when we felt that we weren’t prepared for singing at Sunday morning’s service. All of us truly believed in this and every Sunday we sang, it would all work out! We did amazing things and we all felt especially blessed after every service. Despite any troubles we may experience as a choir throughout this year, I believe UVP will follow this same principle and it truly will all work out on Sunday!

This has been a very eventful week. Not only has there been the business of classes and the end of the semester occuring, but there were a number of special events which have gone on as well.

Last Saturday was United Voices of Praise’s Concert of Praise. Some of my family as well as my best friend from high school and her friend from school all came for the concert. It was great to visit with them. It was especially nice to go out to eat and then have everyone from home meet everyone from school. Saturday was also such a gorgeous day in general. It became so hot in the church that we decided to just wear our t-shirts for the entirety of the concert instead of robes the first half and t-shirts the second. It was different, but it was definitely nice to not have to die of heat in our robes.

I also went to see Gavin Degraw with three friends this week. The concert was amazing! It is surprising the Gavin Degraw would come to Harrisburg and do a performance at the Whitaker Center, but I am definitely glad that he did. Up until this year I had only ever been to one concert, and in the past seven months I have been to three. It makes me laugh to think that all of the sudden I have taken up concert going basically out of no where. Even though Jason Mraz’s concert was by far my favorite, all three of them have been amazing. The four of us even had fun just hanging out before and after this past concert as well.

Yesterday was one of the busiest days as well as relaxing though in the past week. Yesterday was Service Day at Messiah (the day where there are no classes and all offices are closed in order for students, faculty, and employees to go out and do some sort of service project during the day). I participated in Special Olympics. I did the same thing last year and both years have proven themselves to be amazing experiences. Special Olympics is the biggest service project that Messiah participates in because it is one campus and a number of people are needed either to be a buddy to a participant or to run an event. The past two years, I have worked at the high jump and have moved the bar to up and down as well as reset it after it fell down. Now at first this job might not seem very important or completely as a great act of service and rightly so.  Granted it needs to be done and without it the process would just take even longer than it already does, but there is also so much to it. Just standing there and watching the participants as they jump over the bar is life changing. They are always so incredibly proud of themselves and you can tell how much fun they are having. It is amazing to see how much life and enthusiasm these kids have. Even the littlest thing that you can do in order to help someone and make their day a little brighter, can truly make your life a little brighter as well.

Easter break has just ended and we have just under a month left here at Messiah. As previously mentioned in the past posts work is beginning to pile up as the semester comes to a close. Even though this time is such a busy time, it was nice to have a few days off and to go home last weekend.

Growing up I never particularly liked Easter. I somehow seemed to be sick every year on Easter, I was scared of the Easter bunny, and even though I got an Easter basket the presents just could not compare to Christmas. Now though I am old enough to really appreciate Easter for what it truly is. Even though I have always known the importance of Easter and Jesus’ resurrection on Easter morning, that was never the most important thing about Easter until I’ve gotten older. Now I still do love searching for eggs and getting an Easter basket, but the most important part has now become reflection on what Easter actually is. Seeing family and friends is also a main focus of Easter break since I get to see my friends from home whom I haven’t seen since Christmas. This break was a really good time, getting to visit with everyone and spending time not only with others but also with myself in times of reflection.

Last night United Voices of Praise went and performed at an African-American History month service at a church in Carlisle. I love going to American-American/ Baptist churches with gospel choir. The amount of spiritual excitement and energy present in the church is just so much more there than you would find at any other church. Their rich traditions are show throughout the entire service and I just love it. Last night was no exception. During the prayers, songs, dances, readings, etc. there were always a number of Hallelujahs and Praise the Lords being sung from the congregation. There was one family in particular that really caught my attention. While the congregation was filled with a number of older men and women, there was one family with five children ranging in age from around 2 to 15. All five of the children seemed to be completely filled with the spirit and loving the worship energy of the evening. One moment particularly touched me though. As in any service, there was an offering taken at last night’s service as well. Following the tradition of the church each member of the congregation came up one at a time and gave their offering. Standing up front singing the offertory, I saw the youngest girl of the family (around 2 years old) holding her sister’s hand coming up to give her offering. As she walked up to the front she stared wide eyed at the choir and the band taking it all in. I noticed however that in her hand she held a dollar bill. It was one of the cutest/touching things I had ever seen. This little girl of no more than two years old was coming up with her family and giving an offering to God which many Christians don’t typically think of until they get their first paycheck or even long after that. It was truly amazing to see that adorable little girl walk up to the front of the sanctuary with her offering and place her dollar in the basket.

English has never been my favorite subject. Actually it has always been my least favorite. I don’t like writing, I HATE analyzing books, and I have never truly understood all of the grammar and punctuation rules (which I apologize for if you reading my blog and I make any mistakes and/or my writing style drive you crazy in anyway). All throughout my schooling I never truly got any help with English, which drove my parents crazy. I had an IEP in school and that would always be one of the things discussed but it never really got played out or ended up helping me in the long run. All of my English/writing teachers sort of drove me crazy. Granted there were a number that I enjoyed as people, but as teachers…not really.

Last year however I had the best English Gen Ed experience I could have ever asked for in 20th Century Women’s Literature with Helen Walker. Despite my general hatred for English classes and writing I actually enjoyed her class. We read plays and analyzed them a little bit but the majority of class was all about our own ideas and expressing them in our own ways such as through writing and putting on our own plays. Despite not being a great writer, Helen always showed that she liked my writing and rarely criticized my writing like I had experienced in the past, but she encouraged me to take a good piece of writing and make it better instead.

Last March I also decided to apply for the New Zealand cross cultural for which Helen Walker just happened to be the faculty leader. After my application and interview I knew I hadn’t been accepted and I later found out for sure that I hadn’t been. Even though I was slightly upset, I was truly ok because I knew God had much bigger things planned for me (I’m still not sure what, but I know its coming). I could really tell that Helen felt bad for not having accepted me though. This was especially true at one meeting that I had with her about a paper. She asked me how I was doing and expressed her genuine concern.

It is almost a year later and still she is showing the same care and concern about me. I don’t have class with her this year and I probably wont have class with her again, but I have a feeling whenever I see her she will still remember me and ask me how I’m doing. When I was walking down to work today, we passed each other and had a brief conversation. She asked how I was doing and we talked about how her trip to New Zealand was last month. It was nice to see and talk to her even if it was only for a brief minute. I really appreciate all that she has done for me, which I’m sure is more than she realizes. She actually made me enjoy an English class and she showed me true concern which I would have never expected from a professor that I would only have contact with during one class. Even though I’m still not too keen on English or writing, I have a much better attitude towards it and in a way miss having my English class last spring.

Last night was a wonderful night of singing. It all started with karaoke night in Lottie, which is arguably the best night in Lottie. I would say even better than the holiday dinners. What other night can you spend three hours in Lottie? Anyway it was a fun time. No matter whether the acts are good or bad they are typically always entertaining. My friend, Sarah, got up and did her own rendition of Autobiography by Ashlee Simpson, which she got very very into. I would expect nothing less from her which is why I love her. haha. The real surprise of the night though was that I actually got up and sang. Even though I love singing and have been in choirs basically since fifth grade, I hate singing by myself in front of people. I absolutely hate it. Last night however I made the mistake of agreeing to singing with my friend Jezrell on the stipulation that I knew the song since his partner left. On making this deal I thought 1. I wouldn’t be held to my word, 2. I wouldn’t know the song, or 3. we would be gone before he actually got called up. None of those things actually happened however, and I ended up having to sing Nat King Cole’s Unforgettable with him. Even though I hate singing in front of people I’m really glad I ended up doing so and breaking my almost fear last night. After that however the singing didn’t end. We all went straight from Lottie to Powerhouse. Last nights Powerhouse was one of the best Powerhouses this year. I really felt as if I was getting into a complete sense of worship. The last song we sang of the night, Salvation is Here, was really powerful as well. Leaving us all on a spiritual high.

Cause I know my God saved the day,
And I know His word never fails,
And I know my God made a way for me,
Salvation is here