ex(PR)essed

Happy Friday! I’m certainly feeling ready for this weekend. The only appointment on my weekend schedule is breakfast with a special friend tomorrow morning. Otherwise, it will be nice to just putter around the house. There are cloth diapers to be washed, thank you notes to be written, meals to be prepared and frozen, and a whole variety of other pre-partum things to be accomplished!

We had our last birthing class on Tuesday, which included a tour of the delivery and maternity floors at Harrisburg Hospital. I was only half-joking when I asked Jeff if we could deliver at home instead. There was nothing awful about the place, but there was also nothing warm, friendly, or cozy about the place either. It felt very sterile and cold. Formal and unfriendly. Full of bright lights and the promise of a total invasion of privacy. But, I know, I know…I won’t care about any of that when I’m in the thick of delivery, blah, blah, blah, and then I will be so smitten with the baby that I will continue to not care. (If you’re sensing any sarcasm, bravo! I’m growing a little weary of people imposing their experiences on me as though I will have an exact duplicate experience. Really. I’m not that naive. I’m pretty sure that both Baby Lorow and I are individuals and we will create our own experience.)

Anywho, basically all this means is that we’re getting closer and closer to meeting Baby Lorow in person. And, Jeff and I are both looking forward to that!

Last weekend, I enjoyed my last baby shower. It was a small affair…just me and a few of the ladies from the young married couples small group at church. It was lovely. A delicious soup and salad lunch served on Anita’s china; fun, loving conversation; adorable presents and thoughtful cards; and a time of scrapbooking as the ladies each contributed a few pages to a brag book for Baby Lorow. The day was truly a gift to me, and I am thankful to my dear friends Anita and Allyson for treating me to such a lovely afternoon.

(from left to right: Anita, cute Ruth, Alyssa, me, Jen, Allyson, and Laurie)

And, here’s a favorite site of mine — a table covered with scrapbooking and stamping supplies!

Guess what I got in the mail on Saturday? Another check from Walmart for nearly $140.

This is the third such check in the past four months. You may recall that I vented about this in May after the second check arrived, and, at the advice of yet another customer service representative, I sent it back voided and with a note.

Then, on Saturday Jeff came running up the stairs with the envelope in his hand and we realized that we were right back to square one.

Some people wouldn’t be so frustrated by “free” money, but this is frustrating to me because I HATE Walmart. I don’t want their money. I don’t want to shop in their stores. I don’t want my name and address in their system.

(Case in point: Last Wednesday, Jeff and I stopped by the Walmart in Mt. Pleasant to return a baby gift that we had received in duplicate. The parking lot was a death trap. We finally got a spot and walked into the store with our return. We were headed towards customer service when a random shopper stopped us and told us that we must tell the greeter inside the door that we intend to return the item so she can properly mark it. So, we walk back to the greeter and wait while she marks a whole line of people’s returns, including one man’s suspicious collection of unopened packets of blank VHS tapes. Then, while waiting at customer service, we can’t help but notice the rather large, lit sign reading, “Restrooms need cleaned.” Good to know. We’ll steer clear. We make the exchange (and get cash not store credit thanks to a gift receipt!) and head out. We are just getting in our car when we hear yelling. Two people in a car pulling out of the death trap parking lot are screaming at each other for all the world to hear. We both just started laughing, cautiously pulled out, and left.)

So, my blog readers, I am now faced with a dilemna. What should I do with this latest check for $140? Is it time to cash it? Start a college fund for Baby Lorow? Spend it at a competing store like Target or Kmart? Donate it to some downtown improvement fund in a city where Walmart has desolated their downtown shopping district? Send it back? Shred it?

Please weigh in and leave me a comment with your best suggestion!

On Wednesday, Jeff and I both took the day off work to drive to Mt. Pleasant to meet up with all the Bertrams. ALL the Bertrams, by the way, consist of my cute parents, my brother Dwayne, sister-in-law Barb, nephew Brandon, and aunt Barb. Yep, that’s all of us. Dwayne and family were visting from California, and it wasn’t going to work out for Jeff and I to travel to Meadville to see them, so Mt. Pleasant was the next best option.

I haven’t been in Mt. Pleasant since my grandma died in December. It felt really strange to be there and to not see her. She would be so excited about Baby Lorow and would enjoy seeing my growing belly. I really miss her.

But, on a happier note, it was great to see the rest of the family. When you live 3,000 miles apart, such reunions are few and far between.

After having lunch together at Applebees, we headed back to my aunt Barb’s house for the afternoon. Her home sits on land adjacent to my grandparents’ farm, and it was nice to sit on her porch and remember happy times spent on the farm.

Later in the afternoon, my cousin’s kids came over. His youngest, Savanna, was too cute, and I couldn’t help taking pictures of her. She is the spitting image of her father, which endears her all the more to me. My cousin John was always one of my very favorite people.

Here’s a picture of the Bertrams….all of us!

And, here’s one of my cute parents with their cute kids and grandkids! (Well, we’re trusting that Baby Lorow will be very cute…)

And, in case you had any doubt about how my dad would be as a grandfather, check out this picture!

Aunt Barb and the girls gave Baby Lorow a present — a whole stack of board books. One of them, “Brown, Bear, Brown Bear,” happens to be Savana’s favorite, and she promptly plucked it off the pile and took it from person to person and asked them to read it to her. At one point, she was even reading it herself! It was pretty stinkin’ adorable, and I can’t wait to see my cute dad with Baby Lorow on his lap!

Over the weekend, Jeff and I traveled to Keuka Lake so that we could join with his brother Tim in a graduation party/baby shower/spaghetti dinner. The Lorows have much to celebrate this year, so they combined all these events into one big bash! And, because of it, I’m among the few (I suspect) who can say that more than 100 people attended one of her baby showers! It was quite the party.

Jeff’s mom prepared spaghetti, sauce, garlic bread, and salad for 100 people. That’s no joke! Check out some of these prep photos.

People from the community where the lake cottage is as well as family attended the festivities. It was nice to catch up with some folks we hadn’t seen in awhile, and, in many cases, I met people I had never met before. Once again, Baby Lorow felt very celebrated. It was also really nice to have Jeff present for this shower. After all, we’re in this together!

Oh yeah…another highlight? Jeff’s sister Katie’s mint truffles. She was very popular at the party because of these babies!

It was good to see Katie’s son, Daniel. He was a bit out of sorts because he was fighting a virus, but he was still awfully thrilled to see his Uncle Jeff.

In addition to the graduation party/baby shower/spaghetti dinner, I also enjoyed our annual trek to the Windmill, a large farmer’s market in that area. I bought two loaves of delicious Amish raisin bread with frosting, a bag of Kettle Korn, and two bars of homemade soap. Success!

I have one more shower to look forward to, and then all our energy will be focused on final preparations for Baby Lorow! Hard to believe that we are probably less than five weeks away from meeting him or her!

I can’t help but notice that I’m blogging a lot more about being pregnant these days. Perhaps because my growing stomach and the little life in it is first and foremost on my mind every morning. Really, with only six weeks (or less!) to go, it’s hard not to be thinking baby almost all the time.

A perk of being pregnant that developed about halfway into my second trimester is a major boost of creative energy. (Jeff thinks that this creativity reveals that Baby Lorow is a girl. I have to admit, I love the idea of having a little girl to scrapbook and craft with, but you won’t hear me complaining if Baby Lorow is a boy either!) Lately, I’ve been directing much of that creative energy towards making things for the baby’s room or that chronicle this unique moment in our lives.

A week or so ago, I posted pictures of the mobile I made. Originally, I didn’t intend to make anything else for the nursery, but, while browsing through Michael’s on Saturday morning, I couldn’t resist buying a set of nine, plain wooden blocks. Nine blocks was perfect for spelling out Baby Lorow, and my mind was spinning with ways to decorate the blocks. I am thrilled with how they turned out!

For months, I have also been planning a pregnancy scrapbook in my head. Then I drew a rough outline on paper. And, seriously, for months I’ve stewed over how I wanted to remember this time in my life. Finally, last week, I started creating some pages. I decided that I would use the book to tell the whole story — the joys and the challenges. I want this book to be an honest look at the past nine months, not a pink and blue sparkle fest of artificial and sugary sweetness. Because, guess what? Pregnancy isn’t always fun. So, why pretend? I trust that our baby will know he/she is completely adored by his/her parents, so a grumble or two about pregnancy won’t ruin him/her for life!

So, here are the first three pages of the pregnancy scrapbook. What I find especially unusual about these first three pages is that they don’t include a single photograph! There will certainly be photos in the following pages, but, for this particular book, it felt totally right to me to focus more on the emotion of the experience.

Finally, for those of you wondering what I look these days, here’s a recent self portrait!

It’s a new day. After my post yesterday, I feel like I need to reassure some of you that I have taken a step back from the ledge. The step was a small one, but it was a step nonetheless!

I thought, on a happier note, that today I would share something about the baby that I’m feeling pretty excited about and proud of. (Not that I’m not excited about the baby in general, but with the labor and delivery discussion very fresh in mind, you understand why I might focus on something special, right?)

Jeff and I looked online at a number of mobiles, trying to pick the perfect one for Baby Lorow. I stewed over the colors and what would look nice in the nursery/guest room. We didn’t want one that attached to the crib because we planned to hang the mobile over the changing table instead. There were many cute ones out there, but we just couldn’t decide. So, I got the big idea to make my own! I found a place where I was able to order the frame for the mobile, rather inexpensively by the way, so that all I had to do was think about crafting something cute.

I purchased products from the Actopus to Zelephant line at Michaels with an idea of doing a mix of alphabet and animals. On Monday, I finally settled in and started piecing together some ideas. I finished last night, and I am thrilled with the outcome! I hope Baby Lorow will enjoy gazing up this mobile.

Last night Jeff and I had our third of six birthing classes. I found the first one pretty obnoxious — lots of talk about how bad smoking is for the baby (duh!) and other things that I found irrevelant for a room full of couples at least seven months into their pregnancies. Last week, I thought the information was more helpful as we talked about the early signs of labor and practiced some breathing techniques.

But, last night was the viewing of the dreaded birthing videos as well as a rather detailed discussion about transition and the actual birthing process. Within about 10 minutes, I would have given my right arm to be anywhere else.

You see, I am a girl who highly values independence. So, vulnerability doesn’t come easily or comfortably to me. That’s the first reason why I’m dreading labor and delivery. I’m also a girl who likes to be in control and who likes to know what to expect. From what I gather, I might be able to control my breathing on delivery day, but that will be about it. The rest of my body will do as it wants. Some women would feel empowered by their body’s ability. Me? Not so much.

It dawned on me on my drive into work this morning (still driving a crummy Kia Spectra, thank you very much) that Eve is responsible for this mess (not Jeff as I might have previously been thinking). She ate the forbidden fruit and heaped a world of troubles onto women for countless generations to come. In Genesis 3, God tells her: “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.” Great. Thanks, Eve.

So, perhaps you can all just allow me to wallow in self-pity for a few minutes? I’ve been pretty brave about most of this pregnancy. Only a handful of people even know what it’s really been like for me; I’ve been all about a brave face and happy smile. And, at this point, I don’t want anyone telling me how it’s all worth it. I don’t want to hear about how I won’t care what my body is or isn’t doing during labor and delivery. Don’t write me comments encouraging me to be brave or offering shallow platitudes about the joys of pregnancy and motherhood.

It’s 8:39 a.m. and my feet are already four times their normal size. For today, just let me feel snarky. Tomorrow will be a new day.

Jeff, Baby Lorow, and I are feeling very celebrated this week. After a lovely shower on Saturday, we were both treated to showers thrown by our co-workers. My fabulous PR girls chose a polka dot theme, which I love, and transformed our conference room into a beautiful party. The food was delicious, the presents were so generous, and the company was perfect, especially sweet little Clara who climbed right up into my lap in between presents! (She’s the daughter of my good friend Becky…you know, the colleague that everyone mistakes me for?! Perhaps Clara was even a bit confused? Nah…)

So, while I was living it up with my friends at Messiah, Jeff was being “surprised” by his co-workers at Delta Dental. He came home with chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and a very generous wad of cash. We continued to feel very celebrated last night as we attempted to fit all of the baby’s new clothes, toys, books, and “equipment” into our guest room closet!

You’ll probably get tired of hearing me say this, but I do feel so blessed to have so many wonderful friends in my life, especially at this time of great change! Baby Lorow is going to be one well-loved kid!

It’s amazing how a perfectly fine day (well, “fine” if I choose not to get bummed by the rain or the fact that I had to give up my Honda Civic for a Kia Spectra this morning) can suddenly, unexpectedly, and dramatically take a turn for the worse.

I breeze past Yahoo several times a day to see whether I’ve received any email. I always scan the news headlines as well because I’m just that cool. Just minutes ago, I was startled to see this — “Eddie Bauer files for bankruptcy protection” — in the little news box. Devastation and despair ensued.

I love Eddie Bauer and have for many years. There was a time when you would be hard-pressed to find much more than a business suit in my closet that wasn’t from EB. I wear their perfume. I have an EB watch, purse, and sweater stone. I have EB shoes, jackets, pajamas, and socks.

When there was an EB in the nearby Capital City mall, some of the clerks knew me by name. They offered me a part-time job, encouraging me to put in a few hours a week just to support my habit. They understood my deep affection for their store and its product. Ask Jeff about how I gasped when I realized they were leaving the mall a few years ago. I was speechless.

All I can think about now is, “Will Eddie Bauer still be in existence after my pregnancy when I can fit into all their cute clothes again?!”

Stupid lousy economy.

This is not a good day, folks. Not a good day.

…a creative Jamie, cute mom, sweet Karen, and fun Aunt Wendy in their lives. Let me tell you, that awesome foursome knows how to throw a baby shower! Baby Lorow and I felt so loved and celebrated on Saturday as we enjoyed an afternoon with our very favorite ladies. There are not words to properly express how thoughtfully and beautifully the room was decorated. So many special, heartfelt touches reflected how well Jamie knows me and were a wonderful testament to our deep, abiding friendship. I love that girl.

The theme? Vintage nursery rhymes. Perfect.

The guests? Women from church, high school, college, current and previous jobs, and some who have known me my whole life. Mothers and daughters. Good friends. Sisters. What a gift to be surrounded by so many special women, some of whom have already stuck their toes in the waters of motherhood, others who are taking the plunge with me and Jeff, and still others who are crying out to the Lord for the blessing of a child in their lives. It was a gift to be celebrating with each of them.

The food? Delicious! And abundant! Because these ladies know me very well, they elected to have an ice cream bar so everyone could make their own sundaes! Perfect!

The decorations? So thoughtful. Books and blocks. Wildflowers. Vintage stuffed animals, including a few from my childhood. Vintage buttons. Nursery rhymes aplenty. Beautiful dishes and teacups. Hand-stamped napkin rings. So much care and time must have went into each and every detail.

The gifts? Generous beyond belief! The invitations asked people to bring a favorite book so that we might start a library for Baby Lorow. Books are important to me and Jeff — we have quite a collection ourselves and both love to read, so having a library for the littlest Lorow was important to me. And, we got such a variety of fun books that I can hardly wait to start reading to the baby. We also got oodles of other adorable, fun, practical baby gifts. People were so amazingly kind.

It’s been hard for me to be the center of attention during this pregnancy, so I was feeling a little apprehensive about all eyes being on me and my growing stomach. But, how can a girl not feel totally blessed to have so many lovely, godly, caring women in her life? It just makes me giddy to think about all the people Baby/Kid/Teenager/Adult Lorow will have in their life to love and prayerfully support them. What a blessing.

Me and Jamie

Me and Mom

We were all pretty tired by day’s end, including Mr. Silas who charmed the socks off everyone he encountered. This boy is seriously cute and was, once again, a wonderful house guest! What a treat to celebrate the impending arrival of Baby Lorow with a little one that we were just celebrating and anticipating a few months ago! (Um…I totally love the little glimpse of belly in this picture. He was one relaxed guy!)