ex(PR)essed

I’ve moved! It was time, so I’ve packed up my blog and relocated it at http://bethexpressed.wordpress.com/.

Won’t you please join me there? Oh, and feel free to invite your friends over too.

(Forgive the mess…I’m still settling in.)

I had my baby at Harrisburg Hospital, as many women in the central Pennsylvania do. I believe my labor room was on the ninth floor, and while I was laboring, I had a view of the South Bridge and the railroad bridge just before it. There was a long train stopped on the bridge, and during contractions I would stare at a red railroad car, boring a hole through it with my intense gaze accompanied by serious efforts to control my panicking breathing.

After Adele was born, I moved down a floor into a room with a much less pleasant view of the top of the parking garage and off, far in the distance, a bit of the South Bridge.

The day after Adele was born, I found myself alone with her in my hospital room, sitting in a rocking chair by the window. As she slept in my arms, I glanced out the window and watched the cars fly across the South Bridge on Interstate 83. I started to wonder…how many brand new moms just like me had sat in that very chair and shared teh same view – the world flying right by while they cuddled their newborn baby?

Since my whole life had been turned completely on its ear, I couldn’t fathom that other people’s lives went on as normal. That there were people speeding along in their cars completely oblivious to the new little miracle in my arms. Life was going on, even though for me, for those few moments, it felt like it was totally standing still.

Now I never drive across the South Bridge now that I don’t glance over towards the hospital and think of the new mom holding her new baby wondering what the rest of the world thinks about this signficant life change.

THURSDAY:

I was so surprised to receive this package of books and Cheerios from a very sweet woman who works in the library at Messiah. A few weeks ago we were talking about children's book, and she sent Adele some of her favorites. So sweet!

Adele and I came home a little early and went on a walk with Grandma. We stopped at the fish pond, and Adele really wanted to get in the water to pet the fish!

Adele was happy to see Grandpa when he got home from the swap meet at the Carlisle Fairgrounds.

Sometimes a girl needs to taste-test the camera strap!

FRIDAY:

Every morning I would check in with Ali Edwards, the inspiration for the project, to see what types of pictures she had taken the day before.

A typical weekly to do list for me -- a few things crossed off and a few things added.

I never go to the snack machine at work, but I had an early lunch on Friday and was hankering for some chocolate by the middle of the afternoon. Kim went with me, and we both chose peanut m&ms.

Adele stayed home with my mom and dad all day. They all had a blast. I enjoyed a little snuggle time with her too!

SATURDAY:

Just keepin' it real...

Adele got up early and kept me and Grandma company.

Lunch!

I made spaghetti pie for dinner.

SUNDAY:

On my way to church. Adele and Jeff stayed home because Adele had a cold.

One of my favorite Sunday morning sights -- Paul Kuhn greeting people at the door.

Adele and daddy had a fun morning together. He even made her scrambled eggs, and she loved them!

Adele refused to nap in the afternoon, so we went for a car ride to a local Target. She fell asleep on the way, and we enjoyed Starbucks!

Quite possibly my favorite picture from the whole week. Please note the title of the book -- "Cute As a Bug." Certainly that must be her biography!

Bedtime hugs from daddy.

Bottle and prayers with mommy.

Monday — Sunday: 234 photos

It wasn’t a typical week for us — my parents were in town, Adele came down with a cold, and Jeff and I had an evening out. But, it was a week with the Lorows!

MONDAY:

Adele and I listen to The Word in the morning. It helps us focus our eyes on Jesus for the day. Sometimes we both sing along!

Adele is sometimes tuckered out after a busy day at daycare and falls asleep on the short ride home.

Monday means stampin', scrappin', and chattin' with my good friend Sandy.

TUESDAY:

Sweet, sweet sleeping baby

It was a special day -- lunch with Lisa and Annabelle!

I had chicken salad on a bed of greens with mandarin oranges, apples, and grapes. Yum!

Adele's very full cubby at daycare.

Washing diapers

Stampin' with my friend Jemma.

My nightly routine -- face washing and teeth brushing.

WEDNESDAY:

My sweet friend Kim. I love, love, love working with her.

Decaf coffee from the Falcon while I read the morning newspaper. Yep, I get paid to the read the newspaper every morning!

Spent part of the work day working on identifying competencies for our new performance evaluation tool. Blah.

Adele's daycare was having a fundraiser at Hoss's on Wednesday night, so we went there for dinner with my parents. Adele sat in a high chair like a big girl and tried all sorts of new foods from the salad bar. She was also a bit of a celebrity. Lots of people stopped to talk to her!

The Lorow family just returned from a relaxing, restful, lovely six-day vacation in Florida with my cute parents. It was the first time that Jeff and I have been on vacation since last March…when Adele was just an emerging bump in my mid-section and I was freaking out about having to wear maternity clothes. Amazing what a difference a year makes. I’m so grateful for my revised attitude.

On Thursday, as we were making our way to Florida by way of car (to Baltimore), shuttle van (to BWI), plane (to Tampa), subway-thingy (to baggage claim), and minivan with a new car seat (to condo), I couldn’t help but think about all the new experiences crowding Adele in just one day. What I found most amazing was her sweet ability to go with the flow, simply being carried, pushed, or strapped in from one destination to the next.

As long as she had Jeff and me, she was fine. She totally trusted that we wouldn’t let anything to happen her.

I’ve been thinking about this lots because I no longer trust anyone this unconditionally and completely (although I’m sure did when I, too, was just a babe). And, I’m pretty sure that God wants me to trust Him like this. What if I was willing to venture into all sorts of unknown terrorities with complete strangers simply because my heavenly Father was present and real and most worthy of my trust? Wow.

Enjoy this picture of the sweetest baby girl taken about two weeks ago.

On Wednesday, Jeff and I both took the day off work to drive to Mt. Pleasant to meet up with all the Bertrams. ALL the Bertrams, by the way, consist of my cute parents, my brother Dwayne, sister-in-law Barb, nephew Brandon, and aunt Barb. Yep, that’s all of us. Dwayne and family were visting from California, and it wasn’t going to work out for Jeff and I to travel to Meadville to see them, so Mt. Pleasant was the next best option.

I haven’t been in Mt. Pleasant since my grandma died in December. It felt really strange to be there and to not see her. She would be so excited about Baby Lorow and would enjoy seeing my growing belly. I really miss her.

But, on a happier note, it was great to see the rest of the family. When you live 3,000 miles apart, such reunions are few and far between.

After having lunch together at Applebees, we headed back to my aunt Barb’s house for the afternoon. Her home sits on land adjacent to my grandparents’ farm, and it was nice to sit on her porch and remember happy times spent on the farm.

Later in the afternoon, my cousin’s kids came over. His youngest, Savanna, was too cute, and I couldn’t help taking pictures of her. She is the spitting image of her father, which endears her all the more to me. My cousin John was always one of my very favorite people.

Here’s a picture of the Bertrams….all of us!

And, here’s one of my cute parents with their cute kids and grandkids! (Well, we’re trusting that Baby Lorow will be very cute…)

And, in case you had any doubt about how my dad would be as a grandfather, check out this picture!

Aunt Barb and the girls gave Baby Lorow a present — a whole stack of board books. One of them, “Brown, Bear, Brown Bear,” happens to be Savana’s favorite, and she promptly plucked it off the pile and took it from person to person and asked them to read it to her. At one point, she was even reading it herself! It was pretty stinkin’ adorable, and I can’t wait to see my cute dad with Baby Lorow on his lap!

Last night Jeff and I had our third of six birthing classes. I found the first one pretty obnoxious — lots of talk about how bad smoking is for the baby (duh!) and other things that I found irrevelant for a room full of couples at least seven months into their pregnancies. Last week, I thought the information was more helpful as we talked about the early signs of labor and practiced some breathing techniques.

But, last night was the viewing of the dreaded birthing videos as well as a rather detailed discussion about transition and the actual birthing process. Within about 10 minutes, I would have given my right arm to be anywhere else.

You see, I am a girl who highly values independence. So, vulnerability doesn’t come easily or comfortably to me. That’s the first reason why I’m dreading labor and delivery. I’m also a girl who likes to be in control and who likes to know what to expect. From what I gather, I might be able to control my breathing on delivery day, but that will be about it. The rest of my body will do as it wants. Some women would feel empowered by their body’s ability. Me? Not so much.

It dawned on me on my drive into work this morning (still driving a crummy Kia Spectra, thank you very much) that Eve is responsible for this mess (not Jeff as I might have previously been thinking). She ate the forbidden fruit and heaped a world of troubles onto women for countless generations to come. In Genesis 3, God tells her: “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.” Great. Thanks, Eve.

So, perhaps you can all just allow me to wallow in self-pity for a few minutes? I’ve been pretty brave about most of this pregnancy. Only a handful of people even know what it’s really been like for me; I’ve been all about a brave face and happy smile. And, at this point, I don’t want anyone telling me how it’s all worth it. I don’t want to hear about how I won’t care what my body is or isn’t doing during labor and delivery. Don’t write me comments encouraging me to be brave or offering shallow platitudes about the joys of pregnancy and motherhood.

It’s 8:39 a.m. and my feet are already four times their normal size. For today, just let me feel snarky. Tomorrow will be a new day.

–when people don’t do what they say they will do.

–by my own inability to ask for help.

–by my own high expectations.

–when I’m inconvenienced–again–by a situation that wasn’t my own doing.

–when trying to transfer my cell phone from a corporate account to my personal liability.

–when the clock seems to stand still between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m.

–when people share too much personal information.

–when people don’t understand introverts.

–when I don’t understand extroverts.

–when your childbirth instructor makes you sit on the floor for an hour. What makes her think there’s any way for moms-to-be to be comfortable on the floor at this point in their pregnancy?

–when Keith gets too much camera time on “Deadliest Catch.”

–when sleep alludes me.

–when I dwell on the negative.

List finished. Going in search of a better attitude.

There’s been some conversation among those I love about my complete lack of interest in blogging lately. I wish I had a good explanation, but I don’t. It seems like I don’t have the attention span for it. I also haven’t been reading. Go figure. Maybe I developed A.D.D. over the holidays?

Anywho, I was thinking about a few random things and thought I would share. (I’m going to create a “things I’m thinking about category” because I’m afraid this will be the extent of the blogging that I’m capable of for awhile.)

On Tuesday night, I made dinner for me and Jeff. It took about 90 minutes to make/bake and about 12 minutes to eat. Something just seems wrong with those time proportions.

In eight sleeps, we leave for Florida. My parents are leaving tomorrow to drive to Indian Shores, a beach community near Clearwater for two weeks. We’ll leave next Friday to join them for a few days. We can hardly wait. It seems like this has been the longest, coldest winter on record, and a little sun and surf can’t come soon enough.

I love that I work with a good friend who completely knows what I’m thinking (even when it’s evil!) without me having to say a word.

I’ve been listening to NPR a lot lately. XPN throughout the work day and news on the way home. I don’t feel any smarter, but I do know some interesting trivia about the housing market in Manassas, Virginia. (Go ahead…ask me sometime.)

I tried Pho soup again last week, and I loved it. It had been several years since my experiences with it at the Vietnamese restaurant in downtown Harrisburg with the PLCM girls, and there was always a spice in it that haunted me. Now I realize that I don’t care much for cilantro, and at the Vietnamese restaurant we were at on Friday, the cilantro was an add-on. I loved the soup without it (but with plenty of sprouts, hoisson sauce, and some hot sauce). Yeah!

I’m really tired of hearing Billy Joel and Elton John songs on the radio. I propose that radio stations give up those two artists for Lent and give us all a break. They have to be the most overplayed artists of all time.

I prefer black pens to blue pens, but I use a blue pen at work so that my edits stand out. I can’t bear to use red, except when it’s specifically requested.

The qualities in people I’m most valuing these days: organization, sincerity, humor.