ex(PR)essed

The Lorow family just returned from a relaxing, restful, lovely six-day vacation in Florida with my cute parents. It was the first time that Jeff and I have been on vacation since last March…when Adele was just an emerging bump in my mid-section and I was freaking out about having to wear maternity clothes. Amazing what a difference a year makes. I’m so grateful for my revised attitude.

On Thursday, as we were making our way to Florida by way of car (to Baltimore), shuttle van (to BWI), plane (to Tampa), subway-thingy (to baggage claim), and minivan with a new car seat (to condo), I couldn’t help but think about all the new experiences crowding Adele in just one day. What I found most amazing was her sweet ability to go with the flow, simply being carried, pushed, or strapped in from one destination to the next.

As long as she had Jeff and me, she was fine. She totally trusted that we wouldn’t let anything to happen her.

I’ve been thinking about this lots because I no longer trust anyone this unconditionally and completely (although I’m sure did when I, too, was just a babe). And, I’m pretty sure that God wants me to trust Him like this. What if I was willing to venture into all sorts of unknown terrorities with complete strangers simply because my heavenly Father was present and real and most worthy of my trust? Wow.

It was almost a year ago that Adele and I first got acquainted. I know, I know…she was born in August and that’s a whole five months away. But, it was March 19, 2009 when I felt like I met and first started to fall in love with my sweet baby.

March 19 was the date of our ultrasound. We were among the few who decided not to find out the baby’s gender in advance, so for us, the ultrasound was all about just knowing that the baby was developing properly.

I laid on the examination table in the doctor’s office that morning with my ankles crossed, one hand holding Jeff’s hand, and the other hand clenched in a fist. When we first saw the baby on the ultrasound screen, it too had its ankles crossed and its fists clenched. I was overcome with such a strong sense that the baby was a girl…a little me. And, I started falling in love with her right on the spot.

Now, it’s a year later, and this beautiful, delightful, sweet baby girl has entered our lives and brought us nothing but pure joy! She is a 14-pound bundle of independence and curiousity. She smiles easily and often and brightens up a room. She is fun and feisty. 

I’m not in a hurry for her to grow up (quite the opposite actually), but I am excited to see what kind of young woman she will grow to be. Just like a year ago when she was nothing but a blurry little image on a screen, I can hardly wait to know and love her even more!

The purpose of this post is to do nothing more than wish you a happy weekend and give me a good excuse to gaze upon my sweet girl for a few minutes. Enjoy!

I have missed blogging. I wasn’t sure that I would ever return to this blog, but I think about it almost every day and wish that I could find the time. Today I’m finding the time because the same thought has been nagging me since yesterday morning.

I like to linger in the mornings when I drop Adele off at daycare. I like to talk to her teacher and the other kids. I like to see Adele settle in and play. I like to blow her kisses from the doorway and walk away feeling confident that she’s going to be very well taken care of.

Yesterday,  Adele’s teacher Patti was excited to show me how adorably Adele reacted to this stuffed duck that plays music and kicks its feet. Adele was sitting on the floor with the duck directly in front of her, and she was holding on to a little toy with both hands. She was so funny: she was kicking her feet, squealing, and shouting, and generally just getting a big charge out of this silly duck. Well, the duck and her reaction drew one of the other kids — Jackson — right over, and then Patti sat another little boy, Alex, down beside Adele to enjoy the duck too. Alex, however, wasn’t very interested in the duck, but he was interested in Adele’s toy, and he reached over and grabbed it. She didn’t let go, but she did start to cry. And, as ridiculous as it sounds, this mama’s heart started to break right in two. How dare that little boy make my sweet baby girl cry? I couldn’t stand it. I joked (only half-heartedly) that I wanted to pummel Alex, to put him in his place.

My dear friend (and twin!) Becky had written me a very sweet note after Adele was born in which she recalled how surprised she was by how instantly and fiercely protective she felt of her daughter. I could relate. But, not until yesterday did I really feel the depths of how very protective I do feel of Adele.

I know that lots of boys (and girls and probably even her mommy) are going to make Adele cry in the years to come. I know it in my head, but I’m not ready for it in my heart. I so want to protect her from having her feelings hurt and getting her heart broken. It’s not rational, I know, but it’s the instinct of this new mother’s heart.

(Alex is unharmed by the way! Patti moved his hand away from Adele and nicely reminded him that it’s not nice to steal other people’s toys.)