ex(PR)essed

I felt a little cranky this year when it came time to send Christmas cards. I usually like this part of the holiday preparations, but this year it just felt like one more thing to do. A responsibility of sorts that was compounded by wanting to enclose the perfect picture of my sweet baby girl so that people who had not yet met her could gaze upon her smiling, sweet self.

So, I trudged through and mailed about 60 Christmas cards to friends and family all across the country. I tried trimming the list back this year, but when it came right down to it, I could only bear to remove two or three names. I contemplated removing Jim Dewey from my list — he’s Jeff’s great uncle and he lives in California — because I’ve never met him and probably never will, and it seemed silly to keep sending this perfect stranger a card. (Jeff also hasn’t seen him in many, many years.) But, in the end, I decided to send one anyway since he’s family and all.

I’m so glad that I did. Yesterday, we got a card back from him with the sweetest note in it.

“Lorow Family: Adele Elizabeth’s charming picture arrived on a dark and rainy day, and it brought sunshine into my life. Congratulations! I should like to welcome her into the extended Dewey/Lorow family. Use the enclosed (a check for $25) in return for the pleasure her picture gave me.”

Seriously, this note totally made my day. The very thought of my sweet girl bringing sunshine into the life of a dear man all the way across the country warms my little heart.

Do you know what I learned last weekend? You can totally have Christmas-cookie-baking-and-crafting-extravaganza-weekend with two kids, and you can rock it!

Yep…a couple hundred cookies later and Adele and Silas have officially been indoctrinated into my favorite holiday tradition. They were both so good and so much fun. And, don’t even get me started on how nice it was to see Jamie. We’ve been wonderful friends for nearly 15 years, but there’s something especially sweet about walking this journey of motherhood with her.

From previous posts, you may know that our Extravaganza weekend is usually jam-packed with cookie baking and all other things Christmas. Usually we’re exhausted by the end of the weekend. This year, we just went with the flow and adopted the word “simplify” as our mantra. So, we eased into making cookies, lingered over coffee, played with our cute kids, watched a little “White Christmas,” and still made four types of cookies, including rolling and decorate 120+ sugar cookies. It’s ok if you’re impressed. We were too!

So, here a few photos from the festivities, and the last is a photo of my sweet baby girl taking her first taste of cereal last night!

Adele was a huge help…of course!

Enjoy this picture of the sweetest baby girl taken about two weeks ago.

When I married Jeff, our promise to love each other “in sickness and in health” was just one of several important promises that we made that day. And, three years later, we have loved each other through bouts with strep throat, the flu, and a cold or two. Easy.

When Adele came into our lives, there was no formal ceremony in which we promised to love her. But we do, in an overwhelming sort of way. It really only took an instance. So, when she started to come down with a nasty cold on Saturday, we didn’t have to remind ourselves of a promise we made nearly four months ago. Instead, we just started loving on her even more than usual. It felt easy and natural.

But, this fierce, unwavering love has been messy the past few days. Our sweet little girl is battling a cold, complete with a terrible cough that causes her to throw up. Jeff and I both have been on the receiving end of this misfortune several times, but, thankfully, our love doesn’t decrease with each change of clothes.

Seeing Adele so sick and miserable has been totally heartbreaking. Even though her eyes are glassy and ringed by dark circles, her nose is running like crazy, and her cough is “juicy,” I couldn’t love her any more. Her little body is still my favorite sight all day long. For better or for worse.

Apparently my 14-week leave from work also amounted to a lenghty absence from blogging. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, but it’s a bit difficult to type a blog entry with one hand while holding a baby with the other. And, when my baby girl was sleeping, blogging wasn’t high on my priority list. So, hence the hiatus.

But, now I’m back at work (day #4!), and as I reacquaint myself with some of my favorite student and faculty blogs, I’m feeling inspired again!

Mostly what I’m thinking about today is how my plans to do our grocery shopping got totally foiled last night. One thing that motherhood is teaching me is flexibility! All weekend I was working on my grocery list for the week (and a bit for Thanksgiving dinner) with the intention of sneaking out on Sunday night after Adele went to bed. I didn’t want to sacrifice a single moment of snuggle time with her since we spend our days apart now, and now that she’s been going to bed around 8 p.m., I figured I would be in good shape to do some shopping without her being any wiser to my absence. Well, she pulled a fast one by taking a three-hour nap from shortly before 6 p.m. until 9 p.m.! By the time she woke up, nursed, changed into her sleeper, and snuggled with us, it was after 10 p.m. No way was I venturing out then for an hour of shopping and then all the unloading and unpacking. So, I determined what essentials we need right away, and Jeff will stop on his way home from bowling tonight. I’ll revise the list and make a trip on Wednesday, the next free evening that we have.

I just chuckle a bit to myself about how complicated even a trip to the store can be with the addition of one new little person to the family. I’ve been avoiding taking Adele to the grocery store with me because I’m just not sure how that will work. It doesn’t seem to me like her car seat will safely fit in the seat of the cart, and she’s too small to sit in the cart seat. Plus, visions of a crying fit in the middle of a busy aisle swarm in my head, and I don’t know if I can deal. Also, I’m feeling like a big of a germ-phobe and don’t want to expose her to the petri dish of bacterias that is a supermarket. So, when it comes time to get groceries, I usually sneak off later in the evening while Adele enjoys some daddy-time.

Mind you, I’m not complaining. I can’t think of a single better reason to skip a trip to the store than snuggling with the sweetest baby girl you ever did see. It’s just one more reminder of what a change parenthood really is. A blissful, wonderful change.

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a month since our sweet Adele joined our family! What a wonderful, exhausting addition she has been. We’re still not tired of staring at her…although we prefer to do it during daylight hours! We still love introducing her to people and beam with pride when people tell us how adorable she is. We are smitten!

So, some of Adele’s major milestones this past month:
–Mastered breastfeeding and successfully took a bottle!
–Went to Sunday morning church twice and even wore a dress once!
–Got her first cold at only two and a half weeks old.
–Met and charmed many, many people.
–Went to the doctor’s and had an ultrasound on her hips (all is well).
–Cried every single time mom and dad tried to take her for a walk in her stroller.
–Gained around two pounds (we’re guessing…based on how her clothes are fitting).
–Attended the kick-off of Messiah College’s Centennial.
–Slept, slept, and slept.
–Decided that napping was best done only in the arms of someone who loves her!

For more than 25 years my dad has owned his own appliance repair business. He worked out of our house — with his office in our utility room and his shop in the garage. Last Friday, he closed his toolbox, took the signs off his work van, changed the message on his answering machine, and officially closed up shop to enter the blissful (so I’m told!) world of retirement.

My parents live in a relatively small town, and, after 25 years of traveling all over the county to fix people’s major appliances, my dad got to know a lot of people. It’s no exaggeration to say that he is THE beloved repairman in Meadville. He’s known for being fair and honest, polite and well dressed. He’s gifted at making conversation with people. These qualities (and many others!) earned him the respect and business of many through the years.

Because of dad’s extensive network of contacts, I grew up simply being known as “Dave’s daughter” in many circles. I had few teachers or friends whose homes he had not visited. He knew nearly everyone it seemed! I never minded simply being associated with him — for all the reasons mentioned above. As a matter of fact, if people in my hometown still only know me as “Dave’s daughter,” that’s perfectly fine. More than fine really. An honor.

Happy retirement, dad. You’ve earned many happy years of rest and relaxation, puttering around the house and traveling with your cute wife. Thanks for being such a wonderful example…for approaching life and business with such integrity. I have learned much from you. I hope your retirement includes many visits to central Pennsylvania — Adele, Jeff, and I look forward to making many more memories with you and mom.

Prior to my maternity leave, I had visions of regular blogging complete with photos of my darling baby and perhaps a tale or two of a new recipe tried or a book finished. (And maybe those days are yet to come!) I’m only three weeks into my lifelong stint as a mother, and I’m realizing how naive I was about a lot of things…not the least of which is how I might spend my time at home.

Really, motherhood is craziness. It’s a huge paradox. I find myself both looking forward to when Adele will fall asleep so I can get a few things done and then anxiously waiting for her to wake up so we can snuggle. Every morning, usually around 4 or 5 a.m., I negotiate with her and try to convince her that it’s really sleep, not food, that she wants. (I haven’t won that one yet, by the way.) I love her to pieces, but I’m also having a mini identity crisis…trying to figure out who I am in my new role as Adele’s mother while maintaining other roles like wife, daughter, friend, and yes, eventually, assistant director of public relations again.

So, as I’ve stewed over these changes…sometimes through tears of joy and sometimes through tears of exhaustion and frustration, I keep thinking about a phrase from a U2 song in which Bono sings about “running down the road like loose electricity.”

“Loose electricity” just seems like an apt descriptor for this new mom — all at once frayed yet feeling so very alive.

Last Tuesday when I was blogging about my cankles, I could hardly have imagined that I was only a few hours away from meeting sweet Baby Lorow in person! Tuesday proved to be my last day of work and in the past seven days, Jeff and I have survived a challenging labor and delivery and fallen completely in love with one Miss Adele Elizabeth Lorow.

I’m a bit tired and emotional, so I can’t string too many coherent sentences together, but I do want to say that being a mother to Adele is the most rewarding, fulfilling, joyful thing I’ve ever done in my life. She has turned our world on its ear, and we don’t mind one bit. As a matter of fact, we can hardly do more than just stare at her all day.

I am learning that sleep is nice, but spending quiet time with your baby is nicer. Eating and typing can all be done with one hand while snuggling a sweet bundle of sleeping baby with the other. Love at first sight does exist: sometimes that type of love happens across a crowded restaurant but for me it happened in a delivery room at Harrisburg Hospital. Jeff is a wonderful father. I never doubted that he would be, but it’s endearing to witness.

We are completely smitten. And it’s exhausting and blissful and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

This is the glamorous side of pregnancy. I mean really…everyone focuses on the swelling belly and the maternal glow and decorating the nursery while the cankle goes totally unappreciated.

I must admit, on December 28 when I realized I was pregnant, the cankle wasn’t on my mind either. Instead, I was distracted by an odd cocktail of feelings that included fear, joy, apprehension, concern, anticipation, and so forth.

It was late May when I first lamented to my co-worker Kim that my left ankle had disappeared. And, since that time, it has only returned for quick, guest appearances in the early morning hours or at the end of an unusually restful weekend.

Being the realist that I am, I couldn’t not document this signficant aspect of my pregnancy. For months now, my left foot has been swelling to various degrees, and last night was a doozie. Hence the picture, which will certainly find it’s way into the pregnancy scrapbook. Interestingly enough, my right foot swells as well, but never to the same degree as the left.

I suppose you shouldn’t blog about things that you don’t want to draw attention to (and really, I’m not inviting your comments about my feet, my stomach, or my “waddle”), but I couldn’t help myself from photographing the cankle at its finest last night. Jeff and I were playing Yahtzee and eating ice cream, and I could feel my foot swelling while I sat at the table. Nearly every evening, my left foot tightens to the point where it almost feels like it’s falling asleep. One of the first times this happened, Jeff and I both freaked a bit. It had swollen so quickly and significantly that we put ice on it! Jeff is an athlete after all, and that’s what you do for injuries that bring swelling.

Well, the ice is useless, according to my doctor, so now I just watch in amazement every night as my ankle disappears and the top of my foot balloons up and up and up. (The doctor assures me this is purely an unfortunate cosmetic side effect of pregnancy and in no way treatable or of concern.) I always bring this phenomenon to Jeff’s attention, inviting him to feel the squishiness of my foot. He politely declines and always throws a sympathy nod my way for having to be in a condition that robs me of my ankles.

For the most part, ankles go unappreciated in our society. I, for one, certainly never paid much attention to mine prior to that fateful May day when the first one started to disappear. Now, second only to meeting Baby Lorow in person, I am most excited to get acquainted with my post-pregnancy body. I know it will look different and I might not feel like a million bucks, but I do look forward to having ankles (and a waist and non-sausage-like-fingers and a defined collarbone…) again. It’s such a little thing, I know, but don’t rob of me this anticipated joy.