why, harrison ford, why??!!
as he threw his ticket to the floor in disgust, my friend’s first words were, “that was the biggest disappointment of my life!” though i won’t say it was the biggest disappointment, i feel obliged to politely object to this movie. be aware, there are spoilers in this post…though i would not call them “spoilers” simply because they’re not spoiling the plot…lucas and spielberg did a good enough job of that!
harrison ford is a legend. there is absolutely nothing he can do to fall from grace in my eyes. there’s just something about him that brings a smile to my face when i see him on the big screen. i need to say that up front so that it is understood that the following remarks are in no way directed toward him. mr. ford, you are a genius and i apologize if what i have to say offends you in any way. i have failed you.who has failed me and the global population? whoever’s brain child indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull was…this is directed at you! why?! why did you have to do this? indiana jones was a perfectly good trilogy…why would you do this to us?
as my coworkers know fully well as of this morning, i am very displeased with this movie. i had high hopes that it would be as awesome as the first 3, but the bottom line is that it wasn’t. very few movies would i consider to be a complete waste of my money and time, but this movie falls into that category.
first of all, who the heck is that kid? and who does he think he is? shia labeouf, you are not the successor to the indiana jones legacy. you try to touch that legendary hat one more time and i swear i will never watch a film you star in again. you hear me?! back off little boy! when harrison ford speaks to you, you say “yes, sir!”
secondly, aliens? really? come on! did you even try to be creative? not that any of the other three movies were actually believable, but give me a break! this movie wasn’t even on the charts of believability. this was their chance to weigh in on the much debated “city of gold.” this was their chance! they could have done anything! what did they choose to be the answer to this ancient riddle? aliens. give me a break.
the last thing i’ll comment on (however note that i’m trying to limit myself here…i could go on for a while) is the rediculous stunt/action sequences. like i said before, it’s not believable. indiana jones is a human. never in the first three movies did he pass into the “superhuman” or “superhero” realm. i liked that about the movies. it was different. he was more believable. this new installment attempted (but miserably failed) to bring indiana jones to a superhuman level. oh yeah, they tried to bring the shia guy to the same level. first of all, shia, know your role. secondly, i find it sad that the writers felt a need to make dr. jones into an unbelievable superhuman character. that isn’t in line with the series and that bothers me a great deal.
on a positive note, there were a few cute parts…shout out to the previous movies…witty one liners. would i say these few scenes made it worth watching? heavens no! don’t waste your time. wait for some of the clips to show up on youtube.com and safe yourself 9 bucks and two hours of pain and torture.
i will conclude with these final parting remarks. my issue with this movie stems from my complete and utter respect for harrison ford and the indiana jones movies. in my opinion, indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull disrespects the legacy the first three movies built. if you’re going to add a name to a movie, at least bring honor to what that name has stood for. add to the legacy. respect the past. what this movie represents is the lackluster state that hollywood is in. i feel bad for harrison ford. you’re so talented. why did you have to go and support this movie? you’re so much better than this! in my mind, this movie is completely divorced from the first three. this is a separate movie with little to no ties to the previous three. viewing it this way, i will be able to sleep at night.
1 out of 5 nalgenes (the 1 attributed to the fact that harrison ford was in the movie)
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:04 pm
You seem really angry about all this. That’s fine. I really feel that when Scott came home crying about this I didn’t understand. But you’ve made it quite clear and I think Scott had every reason to cry. You’ve destroyed of of his only heroes. You had no way of knowing. But now I carry the responsibility of having to restore his hope in humanity and Indiana Jones. It’s a heavy burden, but I’ll do what I have to for those I love.
May 26th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Okay. There were some issues with this movie. But no more than with any of the others. Frankly, I found this one closer in tone and narrative to Raiders than either of the others were.
The simple fact of the matter is that when you see an Indiana Jones movie for the first time, you’re locked into that place for good with it. So, when I see Raiders, I’m eight again. When I see Temple of Doom, I’m 10, and when I see last Crusade, I’m 13. Don’t do the math…I didn’t see the first two in the theaters.
When I saw Crystal Skulls, I was 32. Now, I went back and watched the other movies as a 32-year-old, and I loved them, but I saw all of the holes you’re seeing in this one. Your comments aimed at Shia could largely be leveled at Short Round, the super-human feats are pretty much par for the course throughout the series (the only difference being in Raiders, where we see Indy recovering, with the classic “It’s not the years; it’s the mileage” scene), and if you want to talk about anti-climactic explanations, look no farther than an Ark of the Covenant full of sand.
The point is, the items Indy seeks are never the real focus; the relationships are. In Raiders, he went to seek the Ark largely because his mentor went after it, and along the way he realized that Marion meant more to him than the artifact; in Temple of Doom, he sought fortune and glory but gave it up to restore children to a village, and in Last Crusade he found that the true treasure was the time we have with our loved ones…lest we become like the knight in the grail chamber, who gains immortality but at the cost of time with his brothers; both of whom left and subsequently died.
So, aliens or not, city of gold or not, Indy finds something very important in this film, no matter how predictable you might find it. That story, moreso than the one involving crystal skulls, is the one the filmmakers were trying to tell.
Also, there was a cool bomb. So there.
May 27th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
The first thing Scott did when he returned home from seeing Indiana Jones was compose this diatribe to you. It’s what was important.
June 14th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
I was just thinking about this again this afternoon….and you know what?
I’m still right.
Still right-on-the-money, yessir.
June 17th, 2008 at 12:04 am
i almost didn’t approve your comment…but i place a high value on freedom of speech…sigh.