No More Time Outs

As much as I’d love to be able to be the mediator of roommate conflicts, that’s no longer my job. When my boys were living at home, I often had to help them find their way out of tense situations with one another– reminding them to walk away if necessary, use their words, count to ten.

Now that they are living with college roommates, some of whom I haven’t even met, I find myself feeling especially defensive on their behalf.  “Your roomate did WHAT? Left his trash all over the floor AGAIN?” I feel sorry for my son whose apartment mates don’t wash dishes or clean up the bathroom.  (Have I forgotten what it was like when my boy was living in our house and did the exact same thing?  Apparently I have.)

But somehow in the midst of my deep empathy, a little voice is telling me to let them work this out themselves.  I can’t be there, and I don’t need to be.  My kids can decide for themselves now how to live with other people. It’s part of college. Calculus, philosophy, psychology, peace and conflict studies, counting to ten, and using your words.

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