hello, good friend

All I did was step over a finish line. It’s just paint. All I did was say a few words. It’s just a ring. All I did was walk across a stage. It’s just a piece of paper. All I did was finish four years of course work. . .?

Today is a turning-point day. Today is a turning-point day, but it finds me bleary-eyed, hazily passing the morning with eyes half-open, or half-shut. Yesterday I turned in my last final exam of my undergraduate career. I’m not usually one for sentimentality, but that was pretty sweet. Somehow I don’t feel alert enough to enjoy it.

Today I awake exhausted and hurried. Pack the car for the drive home. My youngest brother graduates from high school tomorrow. My roommates are gone, taking their remaining finals. The quiet unnerves me.

Isn’t it amazing that significant moments like these pass quietly, subtly, unnoticed? Their weight hangs in the silence - barely audible, but unbearably heavy. I am notorious for missing them. Or ignoring them. Two days ago a camera-armed friend chuckled at my cynical photo-resistant self, “Just remember to savor it!” I apologized for my sleeveworn apathy.

Last night we celebrated my best friend’s 22nd birthday. Four years ago, when we celebrated her 19th, we colored the sidewalks from Lottie to Witmer with chalk messages. For complicated reasons, we laughed when Rica accidentally typed “Happy Birthday Hola” instead of “Happy Birthday, Holla” on the 20+ birthday banners we were to post around campus. We posted them anyway. In the pre-dawn hours, we piggy-back-raced to the dorm, and the Fuzzy-Bryce team performed the most dramatically entertaining, unintentional tumble/spill/collapse of any two grown men I have ever seen in my life. We rolled in the grass, cackling, for unending moments. Kate says it was one of the funniest events of college, maybe of life. Ever.

Last night, singing “Happy Birthday, FrannyTrousers” was, as Kristel says, a full-circle moment. Fran will body slam me for writing this, but the only thing missing was a choclate Easter cross thrown at my face. And maybe a WalMart run complete with a AAA man and his hyperactive labrador.

I’m not sure how these moments acquire significance. They occur seemingly arbitrarily. Taking up time, just as brushing teeth and showering take up time. But they hang weighty, Christmas tree branches laden with the heavier ornaments.

I want to experience them alert, with both eyes open.

A shout-out to the men’s tennis team for yesterday’s stellar match against LVC and a three-peat Conference Championship! Way to go, guys!

Buena suerte as you prepare for your individuals competitions next weekend!

To catch up on the Falcons’ winning season, check out the team’s website.

Also, congrats to the tournament MVP, Jonathan Siemen ‘08. I hear you’re pretty awesome.

Last night I got a backstage look at the Compassion Forum. I worked in the Message Room and the Media Filing Center, observing journalists from several major publications in action. What an eye-opener. Call me ignorant, but, not being a journalism major, I haven’t experienced the broadcasting side of the field. Last night I learned new vocabulary terms, rubbed shoulders with some influential Faith in Public Life figures, and witnessed the crazy pace at which the professionals function. Experiencing the media commotion was exciting - what a great opportunity for the College. I hope the forum served to encourage a thoughtful and honest relationship between politics and faith.

I spent this morning on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, guzzling coffee and watching The Today Show. My cell phone alarm had sounded at 8:30 a.m., much earlier than my sleeping self anticipated, and I stumbled out of bed (literally – I’m on the top bunk and missed the lower rung) in a groggy state of pseudo existence. I didn’t bother with turning on the lights or opening the shades, preferring to leave my roommate’s younger sister – our weekend visitor – blissfully unaware of the post-dawn day. My roommates were nowhere to be found. (Ah yes, the concept termed “classes” rings a bell) I stumbled to the living room, groping the walls for light switches. The refrigerator light temporarily blinded me as I searched for milk. I shoved down multiple, consecutive bowls of Corn Flakes to stay awake; my eyes weren’t yet open. Somehow I brewed a pot of coffee, traversed our cluttered floorspace safely, collapsed into the couch, and flipped on the TV for noise. Anything to prevent myself from reverting back to dormancy.

This is how I passed the morning. Or, the morning passed me. Mind you, Fridays usually discipline me toward productivity, prompting me to make use of the 24 hours of class-liberation. Yet today, despite my lengthy to-do list, I accomplished virtually nothing. I didn’t go to the gym. I didn’t read the assigned chapters in my senior seminar book. I didn’t catch up on my required literary criticism blogs (I’m eleven behind, excellently enough). I didn’t read the dog-eared articles in the news magazine. I didn’t print out the couples surveys my fiancé and I are supposed to tote to this weekend’s marriage seminar. I didn’t create lighting sequences for the upcoming dance performance.

Around ten o’clock I endeavored to crack down on the blogging. I poured another mug of coffee, pried open the textbook, and fired up my laptop. Then watched TV. Then read a page. Then turned off the TV. Then read a paragraph. Then opened InStyle magazine. Then gave up.

Nearing noonish, a knock on our door. I didn’t bother to get off the couch, and croaked “Come in.” I shouldn’t have done that. First, they were the first words I had uttered all day, and they sounded like frog audibles; second, I had forgotten that the rest of the world was long awake and running. Me: in my pajamas, minutes away from my third siesta of the day. A classmate opens the door timidly, observes my sorry state, asks if I’m sick. We’re just trying to organize an end-of-the-year furniture and appliance giveaway, ya know, the stuff you’d otherwise throw away; we’ll donate it for you, he explains. Oh yeah, we’d actually love to give away this couch, I say. If I can detach myself from it, I think. He doesn’t sound convinced. And his facial expression reads concern in all forms.

Maybe I should be concerned, too. A perfectly fine Friday, filled with unfulfilling laziness. Unashamed, unabashed. And here I am at work, blogging about it. (Articles yet unwritten, of course.) Some call this ‘senioritis.’ Whatever it is, today I’m the posterchild.

Bienvenidos, blog devotees. I apologize for the lengthy absence. Recently, my blogging attentions have focused on Godspell-related journaling. You can peer into my current goings-on at our web magazine, The Bridge Online.

But now we’re back in business.

Recent components of my erratically-constructed world:
Fasting, Feasting by Anita Desai
a well-worn Dell Pocket Crossword Puzzles book
The Union’s cookie dough Microblasts (what does that mean, “microblast”?)
Oprah (admittedly)
orange juice and black beans (odd combo, I’m aware)
apartment shopping
Towson, Maryland
www.verseit.com (guaranteed entertainment, check it out)
“Clap Ya Hands” on repeat. Choreography.
World Magazine
The “Juno” soundtrack (well worth the listen)
Spring Break planning
The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris

Currently, lists are my genre. Thus far in the semester, I’ve read and written more than I have in a while, so lists are about all I can muster. I’m in the midst of composing a 30-page senior thesis on my writing life. Go figure. I wasn’t aware that I led a writing life. (If I didn’t before, I certainly do now. Cranking out several pages a day hasn’t been easy.) So the straining, striving, and overall stressing yields a measly list. Hmph.

My family’s visiting! (Well, my family minus one brother.) Godspell sold out Friday through Sunday, so I hope you’re in possession of tickets. It’ll prove a riotous time.

In other news, this semester’s hitting a significant lull. My roomies and I have resorted to TV-watching, homeworking, and gyming. (Maybe that happens during the final semester. Dramatic deceleration. No complaints here.) For fun, I spent yesterday afternoon chucking ice sheets from my car roof. Today I Swiffered our kitchen. We anxiously anticipate sunshine and all things green. That’s why we’re already planning our spring break excursion to South Carolina.

Of the gym-frequenting: my girlfriends have suddenly kicked their work-out motivations into high gear, and I’m struggling to follow suit. I met them at the gym circa 5pm Wednesday night, and I will probably never venture into that territory again. Now I know where the entire student body hides out on weeknights. From now on, I claim 8am. Maybe. If I can coax myself out of bed.