A Place In This World

I have 3 days of classes left at Messiah College. All of my finals are on May 8th and 11th, so only two days of those. Then May 16th is graduation! I am excited, and relieved to be done with all of this work.

College went much faster than I expected it too. Sure, some days
and weeks seemed to go on forever, but every time a semester came to an end I stood there wondering where the time went. I definitely can’t say the same about high school. I can’t explain why that is. Maybe because I took more time to savor the moments in high school? I don’t know.

My biggest problem right now is second-guessing myself. Earlier this year, I starting dreaming big for my future, and was totally ready to make those dreams happen. Now I wonder if my dreams are too big, and if I am really up to the challenge. I have to be up for it though. I need to go to California and let myself grow up and become who I have always wanted to be.

I am going to leave you with some quotes that I have always loved and seem very appropriate for this time in my life…

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
e. e. cummings

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
Henry David Thoreau

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” - Alan Cohen

And some fitting song lyrics:

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game

Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap

It’s time to try
Defying gravity
I think I’ll try
Defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down…

I’m through accepting limits
‘Cuz someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But ’till I try, I’ll never know

Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love - I guess I have lost
Well, if that’s love
It comes at much too high a cost

I’d sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I’m defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down…
-Defying Gravity, Wicked

So, I sat down and made a list of all the things I have due before I graduate. I realized I have 13 major assignments to complete in 5 weeks, plus 3 tests, and then finals! Needless to say I am stressed. Today is going to be a pretty rough day. I have 3 of those assignments due tomorrow and being the procrastinator I am, I have of course waited until the last minute. You think I would have learned my lesson by now seeing that I am a senior. Oh well, I guess I just have to lock myself in the computer lab until it is done.

In better news CURE International approved the proposal for the campaign PRSSA is working on for them. I am excited to start making some head way!